National Day is coming,and we can have a seven-day.My family are going to Hainan.It＇s a good seaside city.We are staying there for a week. We are going to the beach and going swimming in the sea.We＇re visiting Tianya Haijiao,Wanquan River and many other beautiful places.I think we＇ll have a good time there.
 
　　国庆节来了，我有七天的假期。我们一家去海南。那是一个美丽的海滨城市。我们在那里待上一个星期。我们去沙滩，还在海里游泳。我们游览“天涯海角”，菀泉河还有别的许多好地方。我想我们在那里会玩得很开心。
 李老师点评 Beijing refuels
 Beijing Olympic Games is the 29th Olympic Games.It will last16 days, since August 8, 2008, carry on 28 matches of 302 little projects, sell 7 million  tickets. In order to further improve the traffic environment, the expressway of Beijing will increase from present 500 kilometers to 718 kilometers,Beijing will let the going out swift, on time, security of people participating in Olympic Games.Hope Beijing Olympic Games can be succeeded in holding！
批 改 老 师counter
评 分 87分
级 别 优秀
批 改
1. It will last16 days, since August 8, 2008, carry on 28 matches of 302 little projects, sell 7 million tickets. 本句中，助动词will后面通管了三个动词原形结构，分别是：last..., carry on..., sell...。 针对此种情况，应该在最后一个动词结构sell前加上连词and 将其连接起来。 即： and sell 7million tickets. 譬如： I want to go swimming, take a walk and fly a kite. 这里的and 是一定要有的，起连接作用。
 
2. the expressway of Beijing will increase from present 500 kilometers to 718 kilometers, 这里请注意前面的红色标点符号。英语中，当一个句子的意思完整地表达出来后，结尾一般是用句号的。应将" , "改为“.”英语中的句号有别于汉语，通常是一个实心的小圆点。
3. Beijing will let the going out swift, on time, security of people participating in Olympic Games. 本句中， 几处红色表达比较晦涩。 建议将the 改为them (这里指车辆)；swift 是形容词，应该变成副词swiftly用于修饰前面的动词going out; On time可换成meantime(与此同时)，security of 是名词结构，应该换成现在分词形式：securing (保护...安全)，用法为现在分词作伴随状语。 改后的句子是：Beingjing will let them going out swiftly, meantime, securing the people participating in Olypic Games.
4. Hope Beijing Olympic Games can be succeeded in holding！这里应将succeeded 改为successful. 原因是：succeed in (在...上获得成功)，这里的succeed 是不及物动词（ vi.）, 不及物动词是没有被动语态的。